I often write about the things I believe we all should or should not be doing, trying or experimenting with, in order to maximize our success and happiness.
However, it’s not always the things we do that make the biggest difference in our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.
Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.
These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:
1. Avoiding change
What the mentally strong understand that the mentally weak do not is that change is unavoidable. Trying to avoid the inevitable is pointless. Therefore, trying to avoid change is pointless; it’s a mere waste of time and energy. Nothing is permanent but change.
2. Repeating Mistakes
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. Make a mistake once, learn from it. Make a mistake twice, not too good. Make the same mistake a third time, you may need to consider giving up alcohol and drugs. You’re either retarded, drunk or permanently high. You may also consider learning from mistakes made by others, you can't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
3. Acting without thinking
Jumping before you look is not such a good idea. You should know better than to act before completely understanding the situation at hand. If you have time to ponder over something and cover all your bases, then do so. Before taking action, think about the results.
4. Focusing on their weakness
Although working on our weakness does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skillset or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.
5. Trying to please people
You can’t please everybody, but you can always manage to do your very best. A job well done is a job well done, no matter who is judging the final product. People will be people, no matter how much goodness you've done to them, they will still hurt you.
6. Blaming themselves for things outside their control
The mentally strong know the things they can control, understand the things they cannot control, and avoid even thinking about that which is completely out of their hands. We should stop playing the blame game. If something is broken, think of a solution instead of thinking how to blame others or yourself for what happened.
7. Being Misunderstood
Communication is key in any properly functioning system. When it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. Simply stating information is never enough; if the receiving party misunderstands you, your message is not being properly relayed. The mentally strong do their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings.
8. Being Impatient
Patience isn’t just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don’t fail because they aren’t good enough, or aren’t capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.
9. Dwelling on the past
Mentally strong individuals focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather. Learn to know when to burn your bridges. Tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.
10. Remaining in their comfort zone
The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life.
11. Refusing help from others
You can’t do everything yourself. Even if you can, why should you? If others are offering to help, let them help. Be social. Listen to their ideas and watch how they do things. You may learn something. If not, then you can teach them something and do what humans are meant to do: socialize. Absorb what is useful, discard what's not, add what's uniquely your own.
12. Being the negative thinker
Our thoughts control our perspective; our perspective controls our results. The mentally strong understands this and use this to their advantage. Do a quick check on what things are to be considered before making your decision. There’s always the chance you may fail, but as long as there is the chance you may succeed, it’s worth trying. Not trying is worst than failure.
I hope this article was helpful. If you have more things to add or have any feedback to provide, feel free to post your comment below.
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